The Checklist

Since I am sitting here, literally just waiting for real labor to begin, I've been going over in my head the mental "are we ready?" checklist:

• Ryan's room (or space or mini-nursery!) - check
  
• Diapers/wipes/creams/lotions....gas drops! - check (well, until we need to buy more!)
  
• All clothes washed and put away - check
  
• My bag packed - check (though the contents of which seem to change daily - it would help if I knew for sure it was going to be mild or cold!)
  
• Ryan's clothes packed (in with Momma's stuff) - check
  
• Car seat installed - check
  
• All baby gear ready - carrier, swing, bouncy, stroller - check
  
• Post-delivery feminine unmentionables on hand - check (thanks, baby shower mommas, for reminding me of this fun stuff!)
  
• Full freezer of food - check (and yet, I feel I need to buy more...)
  
• Baby bottles washed and put away - check
  
• Directions to hospital sent out to grandparents - check
  
• List of go-to's for Sean - check
  

Am I missing anything?  

I guess I can go clean the breast pump supplies - they have been in storage awhile.  Hmmm, maybe I need to go buy some storage bags?  

I wish I knew just how big he was - I have this feeling I need to buy more Newborn size diapers, I have lots of size 1s.  

Anyway, I have my 38 week appointment at 1pm today.  We'll see if those contractions I've been having this week have amounted to anything!  Of course, I love every opportunity to hear Ryan's heart beating, and he always moves around like a Mexican jumping bean when they strap the monitors on me.  And Sean is such an amazing kid, sitting there, playing or reading or talking to me through monitoring.  I realize this is something not every toddler would do for his Momma!  Please pray for me, however, that the Crabass that was my son yesterday got good sleep last night!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

A belated birthday wish to my Mom - who's birthday we celebrated yesterday!  We had a wonderful dinner and an overall good time hanging out at the house.  And keeping with how the year has gone, apparently, did not take one photo of my mom.  I have NONE from the past year.  Will have to remedy that soon!

So Happy Birthday, Mom!  We Love You!

Even Second Babies Need Showers!

I love my Playgroup for many reasons, least of which are the awesome, amazing, always-there-when-you-need-them friends that I have made!  One thing my group does is throw baby showers for the preggo moms - we do 2-3 per year, depending on how the babies fall.  This week, we had one for us winter moms - and I had such a great time, and loved getting a few things special just for my Second Little Man!

  

I really hate this pic of me, but it's the only one so far with my new haircut.  

Believe it or not, I'm not an albino and I am wearing makeup.

Two of my absolute favorites - Kari and Susie - both of whom had little girls the week of 4th of July!  

Cyndi & Belinda - two of the funniest women...Ever!

I don't have photos of the rest of the ladies, even our hostess, Michelle!

Ryan's new clothes!

(Poor kid has almost all hand-me-downs!)

All the awesome hand me downs from Jennifer and Susie.  I LOVE the brown wiener dog outfit with matching socks!  :-)

All the important necessities!  Yay, we finally have a new tube 'o Butt Paste!  (Best diaper rash stuff around!)

Better Get Those Guesses In!

I had my 37 week appointment this afternoon - along with my third NST (non stress test).  I knew that I've been having some pretty darn good contractions this past week, I was just hoping that they were fruitful!  And they were!

The NST went really well, again, and even I could see that I was having really good, regular contractions.  So then I went across the hall for the fluid measure, and since I had Julie, the Nurse Practitioner, I did get to see my little guy.  Ultrasounds at 37 weeks aren't actually that cool - he looks like a big blob, smushed up against the glass!  Ha!  So the photos she printed out aren't even worth scanning, as I can barely make out the features and I was there!  I do have some exercising to do - Ryan has flipped back to being face up, which means back labor like I had with Sean.  Since I still have some time, I'm going to concentrate on getting him to roll over for me!  

But the good news came from the exam.  I am now between 2-3 cm dilated, and 80% effaced.  Woo-Hoo!  Not that he couldn't decide to chill a bit longer and hang out until the due date, but just another sign that I'm moving toward an earlier, rather than later, delivery.  Let's hope I don't have to eat those words, right?

Online Baby Pool

The post from the other day got me thinking that we should actually log the guesses for Ryan's arrival - so I searched out an online baby pool, and found a free, basic one - 

ExpectNet online baby pool!

Check out the page, and on the top left corner, there's a box for Invited Guests.  

Type in RyanConley (no spaces!) for the Game Name.

That will take you to Amy & Trey's Baby Game Page.

Up towards the right is a button to Enter A Guess.

You can guess the date, time, size and weight of Baby Ryan.

The site will automatically score everyone's answer and determine the winner.  I guess I should take my guess off, as his Momma?

Of course, what do you win?  

Ryan's eternal love and admiration. 

This is all in fun!  Enjoy!

Week 36 & 37 - Signs this kid is coming

I am due in 20 days.  TWENTY.  Craziness... 

And as much as I wish I knew exactly when this cute little bugger was going to make his Earth debut, I know that I have to be prepared that he may very well take his time, and come mid-December!  Because I won't be induced unless one of us is in danger, and I trust that Baby Ryan knows exactly when to arrive.  But I have to admit...all the signs are pointing to an earlier arrival!

I've Dropped

Right after I took the last belly shot - my mom noticed it early in week 35, someone at MOPS, my stepdad and even I noticed it later in the week.  The Doc said that text book babies arrive 2-3 weeks after dropping - which would put us sometime next week.  Of course, we also agreed that babies don't read text books!

Week 37 - when did I get huge?

Week 37 Naked Belly

Not sure if this shot shows the drop as well as the naked eye.

But I'm not getting naked for the camera in order to fully illustrate!

And, yes, that is my new 'do, but it is fresh out of the shower, not styled in these two photos.  I have a baby shower this evening - a group event that my playgroup does a few times a year - so I'll try to get some photos from there, with it non-air-dried!

I'm having Contractions and am Dilating

I've been having noticeable contractions for about two weeks - nothing regular, though.  And then last Thursday, I endured another non-stress test (hey, Ryan's perfect for another week!), and one of the most horrible exams I've ever had!  If you're squeamish, you may want to skip this, but I started out telling the Doc that I felt like Ryan was going to fall out, he was so low.  So she goes..up there..and says "Wow, that head is right there!"  And then she proceeds to go digging, up high, and then I felt a sensation that literally made me "OW!!" out loud!  She said "Sorry!"  What in God's name are you doing up there lady!  When she's done, she says, "Well, I could get one but not quite two fingers in, so I'm going to call it 1 cm dilated.  And it's nice and soft, but pretty high.  And sorry, but I had to go up, around the head, to find your cervix, and then pull it down to measure."  

WTF?  

All I know is it hurt like hell, and I'm hoping that things shift a bit this week, so I don't have to endure another pulling of my cervix!

Oh, and I'm up to 28 pounds gained as of this morning.  Where did this weight come from?  Oh wait, it's probably those bags of chocolate I ate that are now hanging off my ass and thighs!

My Psychic Dog

In the two weeks before Sean was born, Sophie suddenly started having accidents in the house.  She effectively ruined our carpet in those few days - and of course, it wasn't until Sean arrived that we figured out that she's apparently psychic and was peeing in protest of the impending baby.

So last Monday, I woke up to the first accident in the house in quite awhile.  And she's had two more since, including a little piddle just this morning.  If Ryan arrives next week, she'll be two for two in the prediction of baby arrivals.  We could make a fortune renting her out - when Sophie starts pissing on your carpet, you've got about two weeks!

We Are Ready!

I will never forget that my mom and I put the last book on the bookshelf in Sean's room at 10pm on Tuesday, and I was in labor Wednesday morning.  There's some crazy connection between being ready for baby and baby arriving!  So, while we are not ready in the way I had originally planned (this would be one the Big Issues!), I have set up this mini-nursery in our bedroom.

Ryan's bassinet, with blankets, bibs & cloth diapers underneath.

Small trash can for dirty dipes.

Small end table stocked with basic supplies, including dipes and wipes on top.

And our chaise lounge with boppy - where I assume I'll be spending quite a bit of time!

And THANK YOU so much, Grandma, for the trash can and table - thanks to you, our set up is complete!

Here are all of Ryan's clothes, shoes, hats, etc, packed nicely in the bottom drawer of our ginormous dresser.  Everything that was stored in here....currently residing under our bed!

A funny story about being ready!  I vaguely remember nesting with Sean, and remember at the time thinking that it wasn't much of anything.  This time, with Ryan - I've been crazy.  For weeks!  Last Thursday morning, I was up at 4:30 am, emailing directions to the hospital to the grandparents and aunts, and then ordering newborn diapers from Diapers.com!  On Friday, my stepdad was outside when the diapers were delivered.  I clapped when he brought them in and said out loud "Yay, Ryan can come home now!"  And Sean clapped, too.  Very sweet.  While I was opening up the box, though, Sean shouted "Ryan's home!"  Apparently, the stork now looks a lot like the UPS guy, and babies are delivered in a box!

And a last note ... now that we have newborn diapers back in the house, I'm struck with how huge my 2 1/2 year old is going to look when I bring Ryan home.  And I took this photo to compare - Sean's Size 4 Huggies and Ryan's Newborn Pampers.  OMG!

So, do we need to set up a poll?  Ryan's actual due date is Monday, December 8th.

My mom has chosen this Saturday, November 22nd (her birthday!).

I decided when I found out that November 29th was a good date.

My dad put in an order yesterday for December 1st.

Guesses, anyone?

Magic House....has lost some Magic

This past weekend, there was SO much to do, but Trey and I opted for a big family weekend.  We're kinda paying for it now, as we have tons of Pampered Chef, Photocard, Basement Remodeling, Organizing stuff to do that got no attention whatsoever!  But...it was worth it.

Well, let's think about that for a bit.  Saturday's big thing was The Magic House.  Some survey somewhere actually ranked The Magic House the number one children's attraction...over Walt Disney World!...in the country.  I still find that hard to believe, but hey, there's a survey for everyone, I guess.  And we've all been there a few times - and there's a little of everything to do.  There's math games, a play town, a baby area, tunnels/slides, a water works area, lots of science stuff - like magnets, colors, flashing light rooms, how sound travels, air - and of course, the big magnetic ball that makes your hair stand on end.  Really, everyone should take their kid there once.  

I guess the big question is whether, as a parent, you ever really want to go back again.  Isabella has been asking to go to The Magic House for months, and we promised her that one crappy Saturday, we'd do that.  Well, Saturday was definitely crappy outside, and Isabella can seem to remember those fine details (but not brush her teeth, make her bed, take a shower, put away her toys...).

So while Trey was online trying to convince her that she really wanted to go to the City Museum, I got Sean and I ready for our trip to The Magic House.  We realized quickly that we were not the only ones who had promised to take their kids out when it was cold and crappy outside, as the place was packed.  They also raised their prices ($7.50 for everyone over the age of ONE!  Really?!)  Luckily, we had two buy one/get one coupons, so we went in separate.  I was yet another unmarried, pregnant single mom (the wedding ring came off Friday, I got paranoid I would swell eventually!)

I would say it was....45 minutes....maybe an hour.  Trey and I were looking for the guns.  To shoot ourselves with.  And possibly some children, too.  I kept telling him..."But we're here for the kids!"  And then it was my mantra...."we're here for the kids, Amy, we're here for the kids!"  Oye.  Just packed, kids everywhere, parents hiding in corners.  Sean wanting to do this over here, Isabella this over there.  We were there about two hours and a half hours, and that was about two hours too long.  Well, for Trey and I.  

Trey & Sean "reading" a story on the computer in the library...

....while Isabella was manning the pizza counter across the way.

Sean writing his first of many checks...notice the lefty...

Isabella's other career option, after pizza manager - bank manager!

Isabella during a driving simulation - she'll be lucky if she's ready by 16 after witnessing this!

The first picture of my new haircut - isn't it cute?

Isabella Magnetized!

Sunday, we left early for Hannibal, and spent a few hours visiting with Poppa Latta & Nana Roxy, whom I haven't seen since Labor Day.  We then stopped by Grammy's house and visited with her for a bit.  Unfortunately - no photos.  Anyway, I made it 45 minutes in the van before I had to get out and stretch - not bad!  And I figured the chances of us (well, me and Baby Boy) making it up to Hannibal before the end of year are slim to none.  I'm now full term (!!), so no more traveling past an hour for me!  Sean came early and fast, so I see no need to be far from the hospital now.  And only a crystal ball will tell me when Ryan actually is coming and what kind of sleeper he'll be - so I'm making no travel plans for December, either.  Guess I better get used to the inside of my house....I won't be seeing much else in the next few months!

Special Note from my friend Amy

The following email came in from my very good friend, Amy (she of the awesome Pablo costume making skills!).  She takes this day every year to honor her late mom and remind everyone of some very important things.  I offered to help her spread the word - so here's a beautiful note from Amy:

Today is my Mom's birthday. She is 61 years old. I still celebrate her birthday since she has passed to remember her. She died of ovarian cancer about 7 years ago in March. I take today and that day to remind everyone to get their yearly check ups. She missed some of hers and was determined to be the first woman in our family to hit menopause (all have had to have hysterectomies for some reason). I keep wondering since she had so much fight in her to last 6 years of non stop grueling chemo and surgeries - if it was caught earlier would she have lived? The odds were never discussed by my Mom's request - but from my research - after it was found probably should have only lasted 6 months.

In the six years that she fought to live, she lived - when she felt up to it. My parents went to Disney World during the Christmas holiday bash (something she always wanted to do!) and actually met George Harrison. She stepped onto a roller coaster for the first time because she was terrified of them, and then you couldn't get her off of them! She always had loved her birthdays but celebrating a new year was even more special and she would CELEBRATE.

So please get checked out and make sure all of the girls in your life do, too! They really need to from 18ish to, well, forever. And make the guys in your life get check ups, too. Just annual physicals can really spot some problems while they are still easily treatable.

BUT MY POINT OF THIS....START LIVING AN EXCITED, FULL OF EXPERIENCES, NEVER LOOK BACK, WONDERFUL LIFE NOW - don't wait!!

Thanks and LOVE to all
Amy, Vickie's Daughter

Talkin' 'bout LattaLuv!

So after baring my soul this morning, I felt it very important to mention how much I adore my awesome family! 

My husband, while not perfect, is the most loving, generous man I have ever met, and that is why I married him five and a half years ago - and why I continue to love him with everything I have.  Isabella, though not with us near as much as we'd like, is a funny, charming, and loving young girl, and I can only hope that she knows how much she is loved by her Dad and me.  Imagine how awesome our family unit would be if she were with us all the time!  Sean is nothing less than amazing to me, and I can only assume I will feel exactly the same about Ryan.  Even Sophie, the crazy Boxer baby girl, is so full of love, and such an important part of our family!

While Isabella so often resists, Trey and I try hard to provide a consistent, loving, fun and honest environment at home.  We don't ridicule or argue with our kids - even when she tries!  Nothing is more important to us than to raise loving, respectful, hard working adults who understand that life, while not always fair, is to be cherished and enjoyed!  I don't care what they want out of life - as long as they give it their all to get there, taking risks and working hard while pursuing whatever it is that will make them happy. 

Isabella will be here this weekend, and Trey is finally done with overtime - so who knows what we'll do on our two days together.  Here are some photos from our last weekend together - a crazy-warm November day, and we took a walk around Creve Coeur Lake, checking out the boats, the water, collecting rocks, and just enjoying each other's company!

 

Momma & Baby Ryan, on a wobbly dock on a windy day.  I was actually scared!  

Sean, wondering where the rocks are going that he keeps throwing in the lake.

Isabella - possibly about to get pegged with a rock from her little brother.

Sean, Isabella & Momma

(proof that I should avoid horizontal stripes when I'm 9 months pregnant)

Isabella & her Smom

The Elephant in the Room

Anyone who's been a regular reader has clued into the fact that this year has not been easy for me.  It's just that you don't know why.  Hey, see that elephant over there?  Big, intruding, obvious?  I decided to tell you a little about him - I try to keep the blog relatively light, but I decided that introducing you to him may help someone reading this. 

The Big Elephant in the Room of my life has been a year of coping with a very difficult marriage.  A marriage that even I thought was perfect until just a few months ago.  I have gone from blissfully wed to on the verge of walking out, and back...and forth...and back...and forth! 

The easiest way to talk about what's going on with Trey and I is this - it's Life.  Work.  Kids.  Bills.  What's for dinner, did you pay this bill, Sean has a doctor appointment, it's your sister's birthday, where are we this weekend, etc.  With all that talk about Life, guess what we stopped doing?  Talking to each other.  About us.  About what we love, what's bothering us, what makes us happy, what makes us sad.  I can't tell you when it started, but definitely by sometime early this Spring, Trey and I were sleep walking through our marriage.  

Throw in a first trimester of pregnancy - with my medical complications, exhaustion, nausea.  Unbeknownst to me, it became too much for Trey.  He retreated.  He did some things that I am learning to forgive.  I've said some things that are hard to take back.  My heart was broken; he felt helpless and lost.  It got really, really bad.  There are about two months of life this year that I struggle to remember, photos I can't look at without crying, because there's so much pain behind those events that no one (sometimes even me) knew about.   

Trey and I are slowly climbing our way back out.  The hardest part has been convincing my husband that regular talking about the difficult stuff will actually make us stronger.  It not only satisfies my need for one-on-one time with my hubby, but helps him get things off his chest and cope with those things he can't control.  Of course, what man likes to talk about his feelings?  Um, I can't think of one!  But...I believe it's the key to our success, because I've figured out that what kind of day or week Trey and I are having is directly related to whether or not Trey's talking to me!

Why am I sharing this with all of you?  Because everyone you know seems to be happily married, and yet the divorce rate hovers around 43% in this country.  Like we do with our kids, our money, our lives - we put on this facade in this country that we are the Picture of Perfection, while we're secretly dying inside or behind closed doors.  It's considered a huge sin to admit that your life isn't perfect - which I think is the biggest disservice we can do to ourselves and our families.  

That doesn't mean I think we should all be on one huge Oprah show, baring our souls to anyone who will listen!  But pretending that life is perfect while you're secretly crumbling will not help you in the same way that reaching out to a caring voice will.  Especially with marriage issues, the best thing you can do is reach out to an unbiased third-party, someone who only has the marriage's best interest in mind.  When you reach out, you realize that you're not the only one dealing with these issues.  You can get ideas of things to try, empathy from others who have been there, a shoulder to cry on.  

I believe that honesty if the biggest act of love you can give yourself and those around you.  Shed the facades and get real - you've heard Dr. Phil say it, Suze Orman - I'm no revolutionary here, just passing on a worthwhile message!  Imagine if we all dropped the illusions and started living honestly - with our marriages, our money, our kids.  We'd all be so much happier, we'd feel closer to one another, and possibly even see some of those big issues start to disappear if we just acknowledged them in the first place.  And Yes - It Is Hard!  Anything worthwhile in life takes lots of hard work, even a wonderfully happy marriage!  

I would be remiss if I didn't mention one of the best books you can go out and read Right Now.  Everyone who is married, go get a copy of "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman.  It's an easy read.  Take the quiz, then ask your hubby to take it, too.  Put what you learn into practice (something that Trey and I are still working on!).  You will learn so much about yourself and your spouse - this book should be a must read for all engaged and married couples.  Go.  Now!

In the meantime, thank you to my confidants - you know who you are, and my life is better because you are in it - for the multiple hour counseling sessions, the same shit/different day talks, etc!  Thank you all for letting me acknowledge difficulties while not necessarily divulging all the ugly details.  And know that if you ever feel like there's something you are struggling with, I am more than happy to lend an ear.  Just listen, if that's what you need.  Give advice if that's what you're seeking.  

So there's my big elephant - My Marriage Is Not Perfect.  Maybe he'll feel free to leave the house for awhile...or forever!  

Sean's First Haircut

As you have seen from the many photos posted of my oldest son, he's become quite the raggedy-haired mophead recently.  I have been reluctant to cut his hair, because he's still so friggin' cute, and I was scared of cutting out all the curls.  But I got word that he was going to get his picture taken this week at school, and I'm hoping to recapture his 18 months photos in the same yard as last year - if it ever warms up again! 

Luckily, my good neighbor, Ann, is finally back in the haircutting swing of things after having her baby a few months ago - and rather than going back to the salon she worked at before, her hubby (Sean's bestest friend of ever, Joe) built her an awesome little salon in their basement - a mere 30 ft from my front door!

So yesterday, Sean and I got chopped!  Yes, I'll post photos of my new bob when I get photos (yes, you read that right, a bob, as in 3-4 inches on the floor!).  I have no photos of me because I was too busy snapping away to capture my little guy!

Without further ado...Sean's first official haircut!

Miss Ann spritzin' Sean's wild mane.

Sean says: It tickles, Momma!

Sean not so much likey.

Lollipops make it all better - Yay, this is fun!

Why is Momma still taking pictures?

Sean cropped - from the back

The Final 'Do - with my favorite crooked smile!

I have to admit - while I love it and think he looks like such a cute little boy....he looks like a cute Little Boy, and not the Baby I'm used to!  We had a rough night, he was up coughing and hacking, and I held him quite a bit to calm him down.  I missed his wild and crazy hair. He just didn't look like my baby as I held him in my arms in the middle of the night.  So Momma needs some time to adjust to her new big boy!

Friday's Post #3 - Fall Fun in the Leaves

My last post of the day - three not only in one day, but back to back!  I'm a maniac!  (Of course, photo posts take forever to get up - Blogger could work on making that easier!)

As if four hours at MOPS and the MOPPETS luncheon wasn't enough; as if two hours at the doctor's office didn't wipe us out....

Sean and I still managed to get a few moments of pre-sunset time in the yard yesterday.  Sean loved running and playing in the leaves, as did Sophie, of course!  I got a ton of pics, and I should probably put a Fall card together and send it out.  Maybe later....

But for now...enjoy these photos of pure joy!  And have a great weekend from the Lattas!

   

Friday's Post #2 - Funny Things My Kid Says

I wasn't joking about the multiple posts today....this one is just too funny to not share!

I wish I was as good as some of my blogging friends - who have lots of posts of cute things your kids say.  I typically forget half of all the amazing things coming out of Sean's mouth every day. Really, if I was smart, I'd keep pen and paper handy, and write it all down.  But that's just one more thing for me to have to remember right now!  But this was too funny for words.  It's important to note that we have a neighbor named Bob that Sean loves.  

So yesterday, Sean and I were in the hall bathroom, and he had one of his blow-up balls.  He was trying to stuff it down the laundry shoot.  

Momma:  "Sean, please don't do that, that's not OK.  No sir-ee Bob!"

Sean (with a "my mom is an idiot" look on his face"):  "I not Bob, I Sean!"

How cute is he?

Friday's Post #1 - Modified Biophysical Profile

So why the "Post #1?"  Well, I may go a week or two at a time with not much to say or not enough time to say it.  But today....I got stuff to post!  I've got three comin' at ya today, all things that I think are either important - or sweet - or just plain funny.  And I would have gotten them out earlier today - but Sean and I are being lazy!  We both slept in, both are still in our jammies/lounge clothes, and given the cold wind, not sure we're going to make it anywhere today.  And I'm OK with that!

First things first.  Yesterday was my first Modified Biophysical Profile - or baby monitoring appointment - and I'm happy to say the results were outstanding AND I got more (better) information about what this all means - and it's all good!  We were there for two freakin' hours, but luckily my first born is a champion, and Sean earned rave review from the nursing staff on what an outstanding kid he is.  Of course, Momma knew that already!  He played with his toys, ate his snackies, and only occasionally tried to do something bad -like push buttons on the monitoring machine!  

We had our own little room, I sat in a nice, cushy rocker/recliner, and they strapped the baby monitor onto me.  This was a first for me - I did not have this with Sean's birth, and actually hope to minimize the monitoring with Ryan as well.  So I could hear Ryan's heart beat fill the room (love it!), and Sean even started dancing at one point to the rhythmic beat!  Every time I felt Ryan move, I pushed a button.  So the baby monitoring machine was continually spitting out Ryan's heart rate information, and it almost always corresponded with when I pushed the button. Ryan did not disappoint - he moved like a freak show as always, and gave the doctor lots of good stuff to look at.  

Then we headed over to the ultrasound room so Dr. Matuszek could measure my amniotic fluid - yet another amazing thing they can do with the ultrasound machine.  Dr. Mat is pretty no-nonsense on the machine, so I only saw small glimpses of my little man.  What did I learn?  Well, Dr. Mat got what she wanted - my kid, at least for the next week, is super active and healthy, and at minimal risk of stillbirth.  So I asked her to clarify what this is all about.  And I was wrong in my first post about his lower birth weight.

It is NOT so much that his weight percentile dropped.  It IS just because he's at 11th percentile, and is projected to be a smaller baby.  She is only doing this to make sure there is no risk of stillbirth.  She said that if I deliver and he's perfectly healthy, then all of this was not necessary.  I guess I can tell her all day long that Ryan moves constantly, but now she has printed-out proof that he's a madman in my tummy.  And she said that these results are good for a week, which is why I'll do it again next week.  

And she said at this point, she would not stop me from delivering if I went into labor.  Her only concern would be feeding issues, but otherwise, Ryan would be good.  And, my mom noticed this week that I'm dropping (and then someone at MOPS, and then my stepdad, and this morning, I could tell!).  Dr. Mat said that usually means a good 2-3 weeks to delivery.  Thanksgiving, anyone?

So - my instinct is right, my kid is just fine.  You have to have small babies and large babies so they can come up with these percentiles, and I certainly am not upset that my little guy is going to be little - easier for this Hypnobirthing Momma to deliver!  Now, I do still feel that I've been too stressed, and I am still learning to say NO when I need to.  And I am spending time sleeping or resting when I could/should be organizing piles around the house.  I have not taken great care of myself, and even though my concerns/fears have been alleviated, I by no means regret the wake up call.  I'm a calmer person this week - and that can only mean good things for me and Ryan (and Sean and Trey!).

Halloween Celebrations

While we're still coming down from the sugar overload of last week, I'm happy to say that Sean loved Halloween!  I'm so glad - I love this time of year, and have always loved Halloween myself - the pumpkins, fall, trick or treating, more candy than you should ever, ever consume!

We had a Halloween party at our house for the playgroup on Thursday morning.  Sean was not yet diggin' his Pablo costume, so we settled for his Superman pajamas instead.  

Sean, the happy Superman, with a plate of sugar

The party was fun, as always, and I love seeing all the little ones dressed in costume!  Check out my friend Camille's blog to see her Little Elvis!  This was day one of non-stop candy and sweets, and it did not end well.  Clearly, small children should not be allowed to eat sugar, Sean turned into an uncontrollable heathen.  

On Halloween, I struggled to get Sean into his costume - who expects 80 degree weather on Halloween?  Not my dear, dear friend Amy, who so graciously made Sean's Pablo costume.  Out of heavy fleece, because it's almost always 40 degrees and raining on Halloween!  But the costume is awesome, Sean was just very clear that he wasn't putting it on without a fight.  Because, as he said, "Mommy, it's hot!"

Still, is he not the cutest freakin' Pablo ever?

So we headed down to Main Street St. Charles for their Trick or Treating event.  It was fun...at first!  The heat, the crowds...all took Sean and I down sooner than I thought.  While he refused to say Trick or Treat to anyone giving out candy, he happily shouted, "Mommy, look at my trick or treats!" after we walked away each time.  And he clearly does not like people in costumes covering the face - he was freaked by anyone in make-up or a mask.  Even a football player with a helmet on scared him - I know, because he said "Mommy, I scared!"  

Sean loved every minute of Main Street!

We headed home to wait for Trey and Isabella to get home so we could eat dinner and go trick or treating together.  

Sean on the way home - in a sugar coma and exhausted from the heat and the walking!

While we waited, I put together my favorite Chicken Tortilla Soup, as we had Oma Annie & GiGi and Grandma & Papa Z coming over.  Grandpa, unfortunately, had to work (have I told you guys about my dad going to the Broadcast Center, and interning with a radio station?  In his spare time??)

After dinner, Sean and Isabella put on their costumes and headed out.  Sean really did love every bit of it, but he was exhausted before long, and we headed back.  Trick or treating in our neighborhood is only OK - I've heard that there are parts of the subdivision that are hoppin', but the streets near ours our kinda dead.  But in all - we had a great time.  

Isabella the Fantasy Fairy and Sean aka Pablo from The Backyardigans - steppin' out!

Trick or treating at Gary & Sheryl's house

I'd love to show you photos of our carved pumpkins and my painted belly - but, oh wait, we never got around to doing those things!  Maybe Sean and I will carve our pumpkin this week, so we can at least say we did it, and I can make my favorite roasted pumpkin seeds!

EDITED TO ADD:  Sorry to the people who read this post when it first went up - it was loaded with typos and I didn't link to Camille's site so you could see Elvis!  All fixed.

Week 34 & 35 - Momma loves her Baby Ryan

Crazy as it sounds….I am already 35 weeks pregnant, as of Sunday! At times, it seems like I’ve been pregnant forever – I mean, it’s been ALL YEAR! At other times, I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone. Last Wednesday, I had my 34 week appointment and ultrasound.

Good stuff first…
Here is a 3D photo of my handsome boy. Don’t mind the stuff on the side of his face, that’s just the umbilical cord. His face is so clear, and you can actually see family resemblance already!

Week 34 Ultrasound Pic - My handsome boy!

I’ve put on a healthy 22 pounds (pre-Halloween candy overload!), and my weekly chiropractor appointments and occasional messages have kept me going much better this time than with Sean. While I need the weekly appointments, at least I’m not barely making it in between. I’m not swelling like I did with Sean, either. I do feel really pregnant – and uncomfortable, with daily heartburn, aching back. Sometimes the back pain leads me to the waddle mode, because I just can’t walk right. Sometimes I’m spry, and dancing, and moving great! Overall, though – I look and feel pretty good for a woman now in her 9th month.

Week 35 Belly Shot - in the same stripes as before!

Week 35 Naked Belly Shot

Now…the not so great news. Baby Ryan is measuring small. That in and of itself is not as big a concern as the fact that his percentile dropped since the last ultrasound. At 20 weeks, he was on track to be Sean’s size (7lbs, 3oz), which is 30-40th percentile. At 34 weeks, he’s on track to be 6 lbs, or 11th percentile. This doesn’t have to mean that anything is wrong, but the doctor would be remiss if she didn’t follow up. So from here on out, I have weekly baby monitoring appointments – it’s called a Modified Biophysical Profile. Modified because it doesn’t include an ultrasound. What it does include is strapping me up to the baby monitor (which I’ve never done, cuz I walked into the hospital with Sean at a 10!), and measuring his movements and vital stats for 20-60 minutes each time. Plus, they’ll check amniotic fluid – which is normal right now. Any baby that registers 10th percentile or lower automatically is a red flag, and as she said, he’s straddling that line.

The doctor was not overly concerned – she reminded me that ultrasounds are just a snapshot in time, and that a 6 pound baby still falls in the normal range. For the record, I was only 6 lbs 4 oz. But she wants to make sure that he’s just going to be a small baby, that we’re not looking at …here it comes…a stillbirth. Yeah, those words freaked me out, too. She did not put me on any restrictions of any kind and did not act in any doom & gloom manner. 

I, of course, am doing my best not to blame myself – because that doesn’t help. But the fact is this has been the most stressful year of my life and there’s no way that Baby Ryan hasn’t been affected by it all. So I do blame myself for allowing him to endure my high stress levels, and no matter how hard I try NOT to, will probably always wonder about his health because of that– even after he’s here.

Because he will be here, my mommy instinct is strong.  Ryan moves like a freakshow in my belly, this kid is healthy and fine. But I have apologized to him multiple times for not being the more-relaxed momma that I was during Sean’s pregnancy.  I know he’s going to be fine, I know he’s going to be healthy – I just hope he knows that I love him with everything I have, and Momma will always protect him.

I have already cancelled some obligations that I had between now and my due date. I've stepped up my Hypnobirthing training – which provides needed relaxation now as it prepares me for Ryan’s birth. I’ve added a daily yoga tape to my mornings, as opposed to the occasional stretches and class. Unfortunately, my biggest stressor involves my relationship with my husband, and I can only control ½ of that – we are working hard to give each other a break, and this has brought renewed focus - nothing is more important than our children.

So lots of love and prayers for Baby Ryan. I can’t wait for him to be here, I love him so much already, it’s insane. Your heart just grows bigger and bigger as each child comes into your life – there’s no limit to a momma’s love supply.

Sept & Oct pics up

Just an FYI that September & October pics are up on the Shutterfly site.  I have my 34/35 week post ready to go - just need to get that belly shot.  Hopefully tomorrow morning!