Week 34 & 35 - Momma loves her Baby Ryan

Crazy as it sounds….I am already 35 weeks pregnant, as of Sunday! At times, it seems like I’ve been pregnant forever – I mean, it’s been ALL YEAR! At other times, I can hardly believe how fast it’s gone. Last Wednesday, I had my 34 week appointment and ultrasound.

Good stuff first…
Here is a 3D photo of my handsome boy. Don’t mind the stuff on the side of his face, that’s just the umbilical cord. His face is so clear, and you can actually see family resemblance already!

Week 34 Ultrasound Pic - My handsome boy!

I’ve put on a healthy 22 pounds (pre-Halloween candy overload!), and my weekly chiropractor appointments and occasional messages have kept me going much better this time than with Sean. While I need the weekly appointments, at least I’m not barely making it in between. I’m not swelling like I did with Sean, either. I do feel really pregnant – and uncomfortable, with daily heartburn, aching back. Sometimes the back pain leads me to the waddle mode, because I just can’t walk right. Sometimes I’m spry, and dancing, and moving great! Overall, though – I look and feel pretty good for a woman now in her 9th month.

Week 35 Belly Shot - in the same stripes as before!

Week 35 Naked Belly Shot

Now…the not so great news. Baby Ryan is measuring small. That in and of itself is not as big a concern as the fact that his percentile dropped since the last ultrasound. At 20 weeks, he was on track to be Sean’s size (7lbs, 3oz), which is 30-40th percentile. At 34 weeks, he’s on track to be 6 lbs, or 11th percentile. This doesn’t have to mean that anything is wrong, but the doctor would be remiss if she didn’t follow up. So from here on out, I have weekly baby monitoring appointments – it’s called a Modified Biophysical Profile. Modified because it doesn’t include an ultrasound. What it does include is strapping me up to the baby monitor (which I’ve never done, cuz I walked into the hospital with Sean at a 10!), and measuring his movements and vital stats for 20-60 minutes each time. Plus, they’ll check amniotic fluid – which is normal right now. Any baby that registers 10th percentile or lower automatically is a red flag, and as she said, he’s straddling that line.

The doctor was not overly concerned – she reminded me that ultrasounds are just a snapshot in time, and that a 6 pound baby still falls in the normal range. For the record, I was only 6 lbs 4 oz. But she wants to make sure that he’s just going to be a small baby, that we’re not looking at …here it comes…a stillbirth. Yeah, those words freaked me out, too. She did not put me on any restrictions of any kind and did not act in any doom & gloom manner. 

I, of course, am doing my best not to blame myself – because that doesn’t help. But the fact is this has been the most stressful year of my life and there’s no way that Baby Ryan hasn’t been affected by it all. So I do blame myself for allowing him to endure my high stress levels, and no matter how hard I try NOT to, will probably always wonder about his health because of that– even after he’s here.

Because he will be here, my mommy instinct is strong.  Ryan moves like a freakshow in my belly, this kid is healthy and fine. But I have apologized to him multiple times for not being the more-relaxed momma that I was during Sean’s pregnancy.  I know he’s going to be fine, I know he’s going to be healthy – I just hope he knows that I love him with everything I have, and Momma will always protect him.

I have already cancelled some obligations that I had between now and my due date. I've stepped up my Hypnobirthing training – which provides needed relaxation now as it prepares me for Ryan’s birth. I’ve added a daily yoga tape to my mornings, as opposed to the occasional stretches and class. Unfortunately, my biggest stressor involves my relationship with my husband, and I can only control ½ of that – we are working hard to give each other a break, and this has brought renewed focus - nothing is more important than our children.

So lots of love and prayers for Baby Ryan. I can’t wait for him to be here, I love him so much already, it’s insane. Your heart just grows bigger and bigger as each child comes into your life – there’s no limit to a momma’s love supply.