Feelin' the Inspiration

So today is a pretty cool day to be alive in America.  I never thought in my lifetime that we would elect a man of color to the nation's highest office (and really, he's only considered that because he's not 100% white!).  I'm so proud that my boys will grow up to not think of this as such a novel idea.

But most of all today, I am feeling the hope and the inspiration of what we can do together.  Let's be honest, most Americans are pretty selfish.  We didn't become the debtor nation that we are because of our love of service - no, it was the "I need, I need, I need" mentality that got us here, the belief that our things define us more than our character.  As if the labels on my clothes give you any idea of the person that I am.  Trey and I don't ever want our children to think that their personal value is linked to what they own.   Let us spoil our children with love, affection and, most of all, our time.

So the election of a man that has called us all to action, coupled with the state of the economy, is a prime opportunity to change how we interact with one another and what we want to teach our children.  In this spirit, I pledge to:

*Continue smiling at strangers and offering them a hand.

*If I don't have anything nice to say - zip it!

*Stop worrying about how others are living their life and live the best life for me and my family.

*Spend time with family and friends all year - there are 365 days a year to choose from, and any day we spend together is special.  The Latta Home is open, come on over!

*Show my children the value of service by serving and sharing our blessings with others - making regular monthly donations of things we don't use/need anymore; writing letters to those that my Playgroup sponsors; continue to find new ways of living green. 

There's just a few things that I pledge for me and my kids.  If we all picked just a few things we could do in our lives that was from the base of giving rather than consuming, what a wonderful world this would be indeed.  And now I must go, as my Little Man is begging me for his Momma's time!

Peace and Prosperity

I am well aware of how behind I am on postings - I still have Thanksgiving photos to post!  But that will have to wait another day, today (or is that tonight?) I want to reflect a bit on the beginning of a New Year. 

Peace And Prosperity are the two words that have stuck in my head today.  Internal peace, world peace.  Prosperity, not only in finances, but in your relationships.  Those two words really say a lot, and I wish for both of them to all my friends and family this upcoming year.  

But what I really would like to say was actually said much better by a friend of my husband.  Travis is a friend of Trey's from grade school, and he also has a blog that is a really great read, though I rarely make it over to his site to do so.  This week, Travis lost his mom to a long battle with lung cancer, and his post to her was so amazing and filled with love.  But it was his post today, on New Year's Day, that I wish I had written myself.  His post today was about starting fresh, how we get to reset the clock every year.  He also wrote about characters, and how we get to define the type of people we want to be.  Everything that Travis wrote about who he'd like to be - I felt that he was speaking for me.  We set such high standards for ourselves, yet rarely live up to them.  At the same time, we expect our loved ones to live up to the same high standards, and there's nothing worse than the feeling of being judged for not living the perfect life.  

But I feel that what Travis wrote is something we can all aspire to be - generous, funny, lighthearted, loving, forgiving.  These are simple things, and yet we so frequently fail to live life in these manners.  So thank you, Travis, for putting into words what I cannot right now.  (I know, sleep will be mine again soon!)  I will work very hard every single day to be these things for my husband, children, family and friends.  And I will start today, right now, even at 10pm at night.

So I will sign off now, go tell my husband how much I love him, and snuggle until we both pass out (about five minutes!).

The Reality Checks just keep comin'

So this week hasn't necessarily been any easier than last, the stress just shifted.  First off, Sean is on a new sleeping schedule that he neglected to clear with Momma.  For the past SIX mornings, he is waking up between 5-6am - screaming for his Mommy, and only finding solace when brought back to bed with me and Trey.  (I suspect incoming molars are to blame, but it is wearing me down nonetheless.)  

Last night was even tougher, as I was up half the night with severe hip pain, plus a bit of heartburn thrown in.  I had just fallen back to sleep when Sean hollered for his Momma at 4:45am.  Trey continues to work lots of overtime, and I have had to pull back a bit on the two home businesses - there's only one of Momma, and my sanity and health is more important than anything!  The house is a bit of a mess, but the mess isn't going anywhere - it'll get done when I get to it!

And then yesterday, I received such upsetting news about a friend.  I have been friends with Karen for two years, through PALS (a Parents as Teachers program that groups people together with kids of the same age) and MOPS.  Obviously, Karen and I have one child that are the same age, and we both got pregnant this year, her little one due mid-October.  There were signs of chromosomal issues during her pregnancy, but she and her husband opted not to do an amnio so as not to risk miscarriage.

Baby Evan was born on Saturday, showing signs of Trisomy 18 - this is the one that strikes fear in Momma's hearts, as they say it is "not compatible with life."  His test results came back yesterday as a specific form of Trisomy 18 called mosaic trisomy - meaning 50% of his cells are normal as compared to a full trisomy 18 baby.  It also means that he is so incredibly rare, that there are no statistics on what this means for Baby Evan.  They are now faced with many meetings, decisions, and ups and down above and beyond what we parents already have to deal with.    

So while yesterday I was pulling my hair out as my two year old exerted his ever-increasing independence; as I fretted over the new 5am wake-ups and if I'm creating a monster by bringing him to bed with me so I can get more sleep; as I wished my two year old would not be so helpful, because his version of help often causes more work for me....

I also realize that my son is so incredibly precious, his health is not to be taken for granted, and I can only hope that my second son is equally healthy and amazing!  How many different ways can I be shown that this is my life - with its daily ups and downs - to live and cherish.  No matter what.  

So let me share with you some amazing, fun and good things that I have happened this week - because I need to remember them myself!

• Sean called his baby brother "Ry-Ry" for the first time!
  
• Just yesterday, Sean added "You're welcome," "Kleenex," and "OfficeMax" to his vocabulary (that last one is thanks to my new Pampered Chef discount there, and the fact I find something else I need about once every three days!).  
  
• Sean pretty much speaks full sentences in real English all the time - but Momma the Translator is still learning what it all means.
  
• Sean loves to tell you that Ryan is eating whatever Momma just ate - "He eat chick!"
  
• Sean loves to sing songs that he makes up at the top of his lungs - unfortunately, he turns it off as soon as I pull the camera out.  I will get that on video!  (Right now, he's singing about eating mommy's chocolate chips!)
• I am now pre-registered at St. Luke's for Ryan's birth - which is sometime in the next nine weeks!  I even signed up for a breastfeeding class, which I opted out of last time.
  
• My doctor and I discussed again my desires for a natural birth, and she comforted and reassured me that she had my back 110% - so I am full swing in training for Ryan's birth.   
• I met my 30 day goal with Pampered Chef and am now a qualified consultant - I get to launch my website today!  Yay!  Plus, I get half my money back, a bunch of free product, not to mention the commission on what I did sell.  (So while I may not be going as gung ho as originally planned, I'm still moving forward and doing well.)
  
• I have successfully filled and received payment for four photo card orders this past week - even if it did take staying up until 1am a few nights in a row.
  
• I have amazing friends who have managed to call on me just when I need it (because I'm usually too stubborn to reach out!) - you know who you are and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for your love.

So please say a prayer for Baby Evan today.  And give your kids an extra squeeze, especially if they are driving you absolutely bonkers!

In case it didn't sink in the first time...

My dear friend Mindy forwarded this quote to me this morning...reminds me of my Old Sentiment Revisisted post. 

"For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin - real life.  But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be got through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid.  Then life would begin.  At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life." ~Father Alfred D'Souza

So enjoy your life today, no matter what it brings you!  Relish every word, every sip, every bite!

p.s. Anyone else notice that countdown to the left is less than a 100 days now?  GULP!  I think this baby's comin'!  

An Old Sentiment Revisted

I know...I've been woefully absent.  This past summer has been a rough one for me, and most of you have no idea why.  It's very personal and not something I wish to share with everyone.  However, my life as I have known it has been turned upside down, and I've been reexamining every aspect of it.  Some days the only thing that gets me through is the realization that I will come out stronger on the other side.  So here I sit, middle of the night, with yet another bought of insomnia (yes, thank you Mom for passing that trait on!).  I found myself on my MySpace page, reading an old blog from last Fall.  I'd like to share it with all of you, because it's something that I needed to remember, and I hope that it speaks to you guys as well.  

While things have sucked recently, I did forget for a moment the sentiment that each day, no matter how shitty, is your day to live as best you can.  This past weekend, I met a new friend on my girls weekend who has been going through very similar life experiences this summer, and she asked me "How can you still be so happy?"  I answered "What are my choices?"  I didn't know then, but realize now, that I was reflecting a bit on this blog post I'm about to share with you.  Each day is to be cherished, and we must savor the good that we do have and be happy with what life is giving us even if it's not what we want.  

So without further ado....from Weds, October 10, 2007 - when I apparently thought I knew it all!

Life’s Too Short.....Why this is my personal motto....  Current mood:  grateful  Category: Life Life is too short for badly written books, cheap wine and boring food!     That is my motto, something I try to live by everyday.  Oh, I know, it's sweet, cheeky, and a little annoying in this very cynical world we live in.  I know what you're thinking...isn't that cute?    Well, there's a reason I've come to this point in my life, why I choose to look at each day as something to be cherished.    It started out small....it was no overnight change for me.  I was once the cynical person (OK, still can be in some ways!), with the quick one liners, and the "it's always something" attitude.  My 20s were about making money, buying things, having a great time and no worries about anything else.  I mean, I was going to live forever, right?   But the fact is, we're not going to live forever.  I mean, I had lost loved ones, but they had lived long full lives.  Old people died - my grandma, my friend's father, my great uncle.     So three years ago, 2004, three things happened in a very short time that began to change me.  Three people that were two degrees separated from me died.  They died young.   In September, the director of sales at my job lost her niece one weekend.  The driver, a guy friend, had been drinking, lost control of the car, and he walked away while Jody died.  She was 20.   In October, my sister in law's best friend from high school was on business in Wisconsin, just one month after her wedding.  She was complaining of intense headaches, and her mom encouraged her to go to the hospital.  While driving herself there, Missy suffered a stroke in her brain stem.  She died a few days later.  She was 25.   In December, my personal trainer's son was riding his bike along Hwy M in O'Fallon.  He was crossing the drive in front of Dairy Queen, and a truck turning in struck and killed him.  He was 16.    Any one of these was tragic, and I am grateful that I didn't know these people personally, or I'm not sure how I would have handled three straight loses.  But it struck me, it hit me over the head like a hammer.  Life is short.  Sometimes too short.    So did I go out and quit my job and get knocked up right away?  No, I continued to struggle in a job that became increasingly demanding of my personal time, coming home yelling at my husband because of something someone else did.  By September of '05, I was pregnant and began to realize that my job and motherhood may not be that compatible.  It's hard to raise a child when I'm in a meeting until 8pm at night.    Luckily, my employer made the decision for me, and in my 7th month of pregnancy, fired me without warning.  I can only say now that my boss later admitted that it was a mistake, but her firing me was the best thing that ever happened.    While I was able to focus on the imminent birth of my son, the feelings of worthlessness and despair were hard to overcome.  A year ago when I started joining playgroups, I always introduced myself as a former director of marketing, I wanted to make sure that people knew I was someone once.   But wasn't I someone anyway?  I've always been someone, only now I was someone's Mother as well!  The shift was gradual, I barely know when it happened, but sometime in this past year, I've embraced motherhood and embraced life!  I sit in my driveway with my son, staring at the blue sky, pointing out airplanes as they go by and marveling at how perfect my life is.   I still have to stop myself from missing the six figure income we used to enjoy.  I don't like budgeting and preplanning our purchases.  But this is my life.  And it's a damn good one.  I don't get another one, and every day is my day to live how I choose.  You know those mornings that you just want to go back to bed and start over and it's only 7:30?  Well, that's still your day to live, and while it may be tough, it's there and it's yours and it could be your last - so enjoy the crap out of it!   Do you catch yourself saying "Well, when this craziness is over, I'm going to...."?  You're going to what?  Well, I can tell you right now, you'll just be dealing with the Next thing life throws at you!  Stop waiting for things to settle down....stop waiting for this catastrophe to pass.....stop waiting for things to get better before you live the life that you want.  This is it.  Relish every word, every sip, every bite.     This post is dedicated to Jake, my sister's fiancé, an electrician apprentice who was electrocuted and burned at work just two weeks ago.  He's coming home today, recovering from skin graft surgery.  He'll be 21 next month.

Cystic Fibrosis Foundation

As I mentioned yesterday, an old classmate from college passed away this weekend after a lifelong battle with Cystic Fibrosis - a genetic disease with a life expectancy of only 35 years old.  Josh died at a heartbreakingly-young 31 last Friday.  Cystic Fibrosis was the charity of choice for our chapter of Delta Sigma Pi in college, as one of the chapter's founders died from the disease; and it is the charity of choice for the Saint Peters Playgroup that I run, as one of our little guys has CF as well.  My MOPS mentor from last year has a son with CF who's an amazing 44 years old - thanks to a double lung transplant.

So if you're thinking about it, check out the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation - 90% of the charity's donations go towards research, care and education programs, so please consider making a donation today, and write it off your taxes next year.  When Josh was born, life expectancy was still in the teens, and thanks to this Foundation, the life expectancy has increased from 32 to 35 years old just since 2000.  It's a worthwhile cause that literally saves lives.

Say A Little Prayer

Just a little shout out and prayer request for those communities along the Mississippi River. The flood waters are rising, but hopefully cresting, this week, and many towns are in danger. Hannibal is Trey's hometown, and we have many family and friends who call Hannibal home - Trey's mom, dad, uncles and cousins, Isabella and all of her mom's family. So please say a prayer that the levees and flood walls keep the river back; for the volunteers (including Trey's mom!) who are sandbagging to save their town; and to the residents whose homes are in danger (including Isabella's MawMaw & PawPaw, who have to take a Jon Boat to get to their house!).

Latta's vs. Dish Network - The Rematch

And it appears that the Latta's....have triumphed!  

On a tip from Jay and Mom, I called their Dish guy directly, and he came by today to see if he could help.  He confirmed that Dish installed a receiver and a satellite that would not read my local channels unless I paid for them.  He spent over an hour at my house - talking about ways we might be able to save money, and how to get someone at Dish Network that can actually help me!  Plus, he said he could fix something that the dumb Dish guy didn't do right, told me how to call it into his company so that I wouldn't be charged for another serviceman to come out (he was off the clock and couldn't do the work without charging me.)  Trace, you rock man!  

So the trick to getting good customer service from Dish Network?  When the reading-from-script person answers, tell them immediately that you need to speak to an Account Specialist.  They'll ask why.  I told them "Because I'm furious with Dish Network and want to cancel my service if someone doesn't help me!"  I was transferred immediately!

I will admit that I was on the phone for over an hour - not easy when you have a two year old running around.  Sean - and everything else - was neglected the whole time.  However, at the end of the call......

We are NO LONGER paying $5 a month for not having a phone line hooked up to our receiver.  All she had to hear was that we are a cellphone household and we didn't have a phone line to plug in.  I was already happy!

On Weds., between 12-5pm, another technician is coming to install the satellite that will actually read my local channels over the air.  This antenna should work, and I should not have to subscribe to the local channels to get programming info.  AND....I'm not paying for it!  No additional $59 out of pocket!  Samantha brought tears to my eyes once again, but this time out of joy, not frustration!

I feel good.  I feel happy.  While the amount of time and energy I have  put into this is ridiculous, I am getting exactly what I want at the price I feel is fair.  The Ram is at peace!

From STRESS to Spa....AAAHHHH!

I was still a bit frustrated when I woke up Saturday morning.  The Aries in me can't handle the feeling of knowing I'm being screwed - it makes me twitchy!

Serendipitously, the spa day I scheduled over a month ago for my mom and I was also on Saturday!  By 10am, we were at Salon de Christe, ready to be pampered in serene calmness.  Oh, it was so lovely!  First we stripped down to our waffle-weaved body wraps, robes and slippers.  Mom was off to the facial room, while I headed over to the message room.  An hour of full body message.  With heated, herb-infused body wraps.  Heaven!

After an hour, I was off to the facial room, while mom was off to the wet-room for her body polish.  Facials are almost as relaxing as messages, except when they use that torturous extractor on your face.  Alas, they have to remove the nasties from your face somehow.  Either way, my face glowed when I was done!

Then we got dressed and had a quiet lunch, catered by St. Louis Bread Co.  Yummy Asian Sesame Chicken Salad!  Mom had a Chicken Caesar Salad, though she didn't scarf hers down quite the same way I did!

Our last treat was a manicure for mom and a pedicure for me.  I didn't realize mine was a special pedicure, and I was treated to more herb-infused relaxation as Charity earned her money scraping my feet into oblivion.  The only bummer was the fact that it was in the forties outside, and my feet were freakin' cold heading home in my flip-flops.  And of course, today, they are back in shoes and socks.....

Regardless, the day was lovely, the relaxation much-needed, and it was a fabulous was to spend a few hours with Mom!  Thanks to Dad and GiGi for the gift certificate - and thanks to Mom for living so close by that we can do things like this together!

How I've gone from Love to Hate for Dish Network

Ever been Nickel 'n' Dimed?  Felt like you're getting bent over a barrel?  Pretty much how I'm feeling right now!  I've gone from loving Dish Network to loathing them with my every being....all in less than a week.

After seven years of loyal servitude, Trey and I decided to join the DVR revolution!  That was the high point of the week.  After talking to three different customer service agents over the weekend - all speaking from the same script - I finally committed, getting our upgrade at a discounted price of $70; adding to our existing bill $11 a month, including a new fee for not having a phone line.  We haven't had a phone line in four years, now they're charging us for that?  Hmmm...it's still cheaper than an actual phone line.

Weds. comes and the dumbest Dish subcontractor in St. Louis shows up.  I had to tell him three times which receiver went where.  Because I had company over - safety in numbers for the stay-home mom! - it was a bit chaotic around the house when Dish Guy said that everything was good to go.  It wasn't until two hours later that I tried to turn up the sound, only to find we had none!  Two hours after that - including a phone call to Dish Guy who said maybe the "Mute" button was on - I give up, and sit down on the couch.  Which gives me the perfect angle to see the audio cables lying on the glass shelf, as opposed to being plugged in!  What a friggin' genius!  

But it gets better - later that night, I set up the DVR to pull in our local channels - which we get over the air on a rockin' antenna, giving us more local stations, in HD, than we could pay Dish for.  For FREE!  It worked like a charm on our regular HD receiver, which now resides in our bedroom.  But to my dismay, there was no programming info once I added the locals - I have no idea what's on, it just says "Digital Service" on every local channel.  Which completely defeats the purpose of recording my favorite shows with the DVR!  But we got programming info on the old receiver, so I thought I'd give it over night.  At this point, Trey points out the dent in the wall from Dish Guy moving our dresser to install the receiver in the bedroom.  Here's where the weariness over our supposedly-awesome upgrade starts to set in!

Next day, still no programming.  Oh, maybe I have to reset the whole thing.  No problem, can do!  Hmm..still no information.  Must it needs another night.

By Friday afternoon, I started thinking....Dish is screwing me, aren't they?  I do a some Googling, and find some forums that say the new DVR does not read the programming - so that Dish can screw us out of more money.  I decide to call to confirm, and thus began my most painful conversation yet with Dish no-customer service.  Even though I explained my situation in full from the beginning, it took the agent a full seven minutes to understand I don't subscribe to locals.  Ahem.  From there, her only solution, no matter which angle I took - even as far as, "But you're screwing me out of my money!" - was "to add local channels."  That must be what her script said, cuz that's all I heard.  She also told me that I could not manually set a timer, but I could record anything just by hitting the record button!  Which, again, defeats the whole DVR concept!  Of course, I could always just add local channels.  I almost felt bad for her, as I had lost most of my manners by this point.

A little more research, I found out I can use Zap2It to find out what was on, and I can, in fact, manually set a timer (though all the shows recorded this way would all be called "Manual Timer"), I was feeling not great, but not lost.  Then reality set in - recording shows like this is work - researching, planning ahead, dealing with 15 shows all called "Manual Timer."  Didn't I just spend $70, plus $11 a month, to make my life easier?  I decided that adding local channels wouldn't kill me.  

So I called back.  Talking to the fifth Dish service agent in a week, and keeping India's economy running strong, I order local channels.  Only to be told that the dish that was just installed on Weds. doesn't have the antenna necessary for local channels, and for the discounted rate of only $59, they would upgrade my dish and send a technician out next week!  Between the thought of another Dish Guy and the slow milking of even more of our money...

I actually started crying.  To a woman in India speaking very rehearsed English.  Who just kept telling me that it was only $59, and she'd be happy to help me today.  

Somehow, I have not resorted to drinking.  

EDITED TO ADD:  I believe I have resolved all of this!  Check it out!

When Life Gives You Lemons...

So two years ago this week, I was fired from my job. That's right, fired - not laid off or downsized. I was told I was not good at my job and that I was not needed anymore. Any shred of Ego I might have had was gone at that point. Also seven months pregnant, I felt like the rug had been pulled out from under me in more ways than one.

But had it really? My work life had gone increasingly downhill since I had been promoted the summer before. Longer hours, significantly more stress, no direction and mixed signals from my supervisor, plus the realization that I was going to be a mom working 50+ hours a week. As the pregnancy progressed, I went from "Yeah, I can do this" to "Well, maybe" to "There's NO Way!" But how would Trey and I survive on one income?

Isn't it amazing how God answers prayers? I was let go with three months severance, plus I could claim unemployment. That allowed me to not worry about any of that until after Sean was born. And when that miracle showed up on May 16, all of my previous concerns were gone. I didn't know how we were going to do it, but I knew that we could.

And the job I was fired from? Well, I may have heard that there may have been an admission that I may have been missed. While I knew it wasn't me, it did feel good to hear that they knew it wasn't all me either.

And rather than busting my ass for an underappreciative boss who underpays me, I get to spend my days like this.....

Watching Sean marvel in one of the first Spring days of the year, taking in the grass, the sun, the wind, the airplanes. Running through the yard and playing ball. No paycheck is worth missing this.

Presidential Respect

So my very opinionated, yet very loved, younger sister posted this rant on her Here's What Happened blog this week.  And while there are many things we don't agree on (including presidential candidates this year), she and I definitely agree on this.

Long story short.....forwarded chain emails are not the source we should turn to for news and information on this year's (or any year's) crop of presidential candidates.  They are inflammatory at best and downright lies at worst, and should be deleted, not sent on to all our friends.  No matter your politics, all four candidates deserve much more respect than that.