Halloween #3 - Leaves!

One of the best parts of Fall....leaves!  Lots and lots of leaves, and so many of them in our yard!  The kids spent tons of time playing in the leaves over the course of a few days, but I managed to snap a few photos on Halloween - what a gorgeous day!

Burying Isabella

Hey, Sean...what'd you do with your sister?

There she is!

Look at these two!  Love it!

What a little Angel!

Halloween #2 - Carving Pumpkins

Given the title, I'm sure you're expecting photos of cute little kids, getting their hands dirty, experiencing pumpkin guts for the first time.  But you don't have my husband.

Trey likes to use power tools to carve his pumpkins.

Here's Trey sporting a Sawzall to cut up a defenseless little gourd.

Ever-so-delicately carving his masterpiece.

With a Dremel.

Drawing out the face on the 2nd pumpkin.

I haven't seen any children in these photos, have you?

The Final Results:

An Incredible pumpkin for the Incredible family!

Our Happy Jack O'Lantern

Perspective

I could only describe my past week as a Shit Storm.  As bad as last week was, yesterday took the cake, though there were key differences.  Only two of the three children were trying to send me to an early grave, and I only had to waterboard my infant son once.  In a nutshell....

Both boys woke up completely pee-soaked.  All clothing and bedding drenched.
Ryan busted his lip open while I walked Isabella to the bus stop - he obviously knew I was set up for a photoshoot as soon as Isabella was gone!
During the photoshoot (moved to after lunch), Ryan fell on his face on the wood step stool, reopening his mouth injury from last week, and gushing blood everywhere.  (Waterboarding time!)
After he was settled down, Sean shit his pants.
Getting Ryan down for a nap and Sean in my room for some rest time so Momma could take a f**in' break, Sean apparently thought it'd be fun to use our ceiling fan/light fixture as a drum set.  He smashed one of the glass thingies over our bed.

As I recounted my day to Trey, I was laughing myself to tears.  I mean, what else can you possibly do?  And then...

As we sat down for dinner, we got a text from our friends across the street.  A neighbor had been killed in a car accident earlier in the day.  A 35 year old husband to a stay-home mom, father of two - a 7 year old boy and a 4 year old girl.  Trey and I felt like we were slammed into a brick wall.  Because when Perspective hits, it tends to hit hard.  It's not often that I see Trey tear up, but we both just sat there, looking at our freakishly crazy, wild kids and imaging life without any of it all.

So today we are looking at our life with a slightly different perspective.  We are really so blessed, and sometimes it's hard to see the trees through the forest.  Our kids are really good kids, we live a really good life, and I can't imagine it any different.

Halloween #1 - Main Street!

I know, only a full week late!  I blame small children, it's my favorite card to play.

We began Halloween week with a Playgroup Halloween party at Anastasia's house, but we took not one picture!  So imagine it in your mind.

On Friday, I wasn't sure we were going to make it to Trick or Treating on Main Street, as it had poured every single day that week, including that morning.  But luckily, my dear friend Kari told me what a loser I would be if I didn't bring the boys out, so we got ourselves together at the last minute.  And I'm so glad, the skies opened up, and it ended being the perfect Fall day!  Main Street is already awesome, oozing with charm and character.  It was damp, cool, leaves falling everywhere, with swarms of ghouls, goblins, witches, super heros, princesses and the like.  It was So Halloween!

We ran into friends as we begged for candy from the local merchants.  And a week later, I barely remember how we all wanted to kill our children.  I believe Baby Taz was the *only* one who didn't have some form of a meltdown.

Peter Pan and Dash getting ready to fill their buckets!

Tinkerbell

Peter Pan, Tinkerbell, Dash & Baby Jack-Jack

I took no less than 20 photos of the four of them.

This was the *only* one where they are all facing forward.  =)

I love that Kari actually owns these pants.

As pants, not a Halloween costume.

Monday Morning Musings

Just some thoughts that plague me this morning:

Why is it that Sean has peed his pants maybe three times in the past two months of using PullUps, but has peed his pants four times in the past 24 hours since making the switch to full time big boy undies?

How does Ryan know that I need a special photo for his birthday invite?  He's injured his face no less than three times in the past week, including this morning with a busted lip.  Guess I'll just have to photograph my bruiser for what he is!

Why can't all checkers be as lightening fast as Aldi checkers?

When did October and November get together and decide to swap weather?  I was wearing a tank top, jeans and flip flops last night after dark!

Why do I still get zits before that time of the month?  Seriously.  I'm 35.

I really am grateful that I only have one daughter to raise.  I'd rather endure the physicality of destructive boys than the emotional distress of a tween girl!

How did I function without coffee in my previous life?

I'm having to redecorate my home because of Baby Taz.  Who knew that an 11 month old could get behind the toilet, grab the toilet brush and put it in his mouth?  Anyone have any good tips for tethering the Christmas tree to the wall?

How did I manage to live 35 years without injuring my eye, but a one lovey moment with Piglet ends with a corneal abrasion?  Just *how* can one baby cause so much destruction!?

EDITED to add:  Since this post this morning, Sean POOPED in his undies.  And Ryan fell on his mouth, yet again, opening up last week's gum-gusher, covering us both with blood...yet again.  Did I cross a black cat last week?  Walk under a ladder, or something?

24 Hours

The past 24 hours have been hell a true test of parenting wills.  The kind of 24 hours where you think back to life before children, when all you had to worry about were unreasonable landlords, psychotic boyfriends, overdue bills, office politics, backstabbing coworkers, irate bosses...aw, those were the days!

I can't even remember it all.  I know the boys were up by 6am yesterday.  I know there was pissing all over the back of the toilet due to Sean's bad aim.  I know Ryan screamed and flailed because he just was not going to take that second nap.

But there were standouts:

(ONE) While walking up the stairs with a full basket of clean clothes, a smell hit me like a tanker truck.  A tanker truck of shit.  I am still not sure if it was dog vomit or dog diarrhea in the dining room, as it was runny, chunky, with both solid food and a substance that looked like poop to me.  So I scrambled to get towels to clean it up, and as I turned from the kitchen back to the dining room, I saw Ryan.  Wallowing around in said substance.  All over his feet, his hands...and his mouth and face.

I dropped the towels, ran to Ryan, and proceeded to literally torture my baby.  Waterboarding - do not try this at home!  With a full cup of water, I hung Ryan almost upside down, and practically drowned him, trying to flush out all the crap.  Because it may have actually been crap.  At a minimum, it was very foul puke.

As I'm doing this, the pot of boiling water on the stove overflows, and the kitchen fills with steam and gurgling, boiling water.  That was a sign that God was having a good laugh.

I got Ryan cleaned up, proceeded to cleaning the spot.  While I'm on hands and knees, fighting a now-perfectly-fine Ryan for the spot cleaner hose, I hear a thud and screaming behind me.  Sean hasn't quite master his mad jumping skillz, and scraped his back down the side of his solid wood step stool.  Gave himself a good four to five inch scrape.

(No, no pictures of the shit or baby torture.)

So my nerves were fried, and Isabella and Trey weren't even home yet.

And then they got home.

(TWO) Apparently, Isabella got a nice chip on her shoulder at school, and came home ready to pounce.  Not that we knew.  We also didn't know that Long Division would lead to a World War Three level outburst.  I've been learning that children, especially divorced children, want nothing more than to know that they are unconditionally loved, and they will test that knowledge at random.  So rather than engage an outburst, I now opt to just keep telling Isabella that I love her.  Last night was the first time I had the luxury of implementing said tactic, and let's just say, she didn't like it.  You name it, she said it, and I just kept quietly telling her, "But I love you."  I've never seen, felt or heard such rage.  Aunt Mandy had the privilege of being on the phone with Trey during the outburst.

However, the "I Love You" tactic is quite good, because while it was the most intense outburst, it was also quite short, and within 20 minutes, we were back out in the dining room, finishing that nasty long division problem.

I also started drinking a beer.

There was the usual folding loads of laundry well after bedtime.  Waking up at the crack of dawn this morning.  Cleaning up more urine from around the toilet.

Oh, and (THREE) I got to further hone my Baby Torture skills by waterboarding Ryan yet again!  This time, it was to flush the gushing blood from his mouth, after he fell down in the street on the way home from Isabella's bus stop.  Oh, and I spilled hot coffee on myself.

A very worn out Momma,

with coffee on the sleeve and blood on the shoulder.

Seriously, it's no longer considered a faux pas to drink before Noon, right?

Eleven Months

Dearest Ryan,

So, why, after so many months of nothing, would Momma take time out to write you a note?  Because I am stunned.  Stunned at you, at how big you are, and at the fact that your first birthday is staring me in the face.  Has it really gone this fast?

You know how to pose for a picture, you walk across the house - from your room to the kitchen - all by yourself, you're saying more words everyday, you're playing ball with Daddy, you're dancing when Momma starts to sing.

Just yesterday, you went through the kids' bag of Halloween Loot, found the blue sucker you wanted, pulled off the paper, and starting eating it.  All By Yourself.  I was too tickled to be remotely mad at you.  And you knew you were hot Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

You have a smile that just lights up the room - from the moment you started smiling all those months ago, it is your guaranteed spell to cast on your Momma.

You are Yin & Yang, you are Baby Taz, you are hysterically funny with a wicked sense of humor, you light up a room, you are my Big Lover, you are Momma's Piglet.

One month from today, my little one.  Your year will be celebrated, because everything about you is worth celebrating.  I love you so very much.

Love forever and always,

Momma