Monday Morning Musings

Just some thoughts that plague me this morning:

Why is it that Sean has peed his pants maybe three times in the past two months of using PullUps, but has peed his pants four times in the past 24 hours since making the switch to full time big boy undies?

How does Ryan know that I need a special photo for his birthday invite?  He's injured his face no less than three times in the past week, including this morning with a busted lip.  Guess I'll just have to photograph my bruiser for what he is!

Why can't all checkers be as lightening fast as Aldi checkers?

When did October and November get together and decide to swap weather?  I was wearing a tank top, jeans and flip flops last night after dark!

Why do I still get zits before that time of the month?  Seriously.  I'm 35.

I really am grateful that I only have one daughter to raise.  I'd rather endure the physicality of destructive boys than the emotional distress of a tween girl!

How did I function without coffee in my previous life?

I'm having to redecorate my home because of Baby Taz.  Who knew that an 11 month old could get behind the toilet, grab the toilet brush and put it in his mouth?  Anyone have any good tips for tethering the Christmas tree to the wall?

How did I manage to live 35 years without injuring my eye, but a one lovey moment with Piglet ends with a corneal abrasion?  Just *how* can one baby cause so much destruction!?

EDITED to add:  Since this post this morning, Sean POOPED in his undies.  And Ryan fell on his mouth, yet again, opening up last week's gum-gusher, covering us both with blood...yet again.  Did I cross a black cat last week?  Walk under a ladder, or something?

24 Hours

The past 24 hours have been hell a true test of parenting wills.  The kind of 24 hours where you think back to life before children, when all you had to worry about were unreasonable landlords, psychotic boyfriends, overdue bills, office politics, backstabbing coworkers, irate bosses...aw, those were the days!

I can't even remember it all.  I know the boys were up by 6am yesterday.  I know there was pissing all over the back of the toilet due to Sean's bad aim.  I know Ryan screamed and flailed because he just was not going to take that second nap.

But there were standouts:

(ONE) While walking up the stairs with a full basket of clean clothes, a smell hit me like a tanker truck.  A tanker truck of shit.  I am still not sure if it was dog vomit or dog diarrhea in the dining room, as it was runny, chunky, with both solid food and a substance that looked like poop to me.  So I scrambled to get towels to clean it up, and as I turned from the kitchen back to the dining room, I saw Ryan.  Wallowing around in said substance.  All over his feet, his hands...and his mouth and face.

I dropped the towels, ran to Ryan, and proceeded to literally torture my baby.  Waterboarding - do not try this at home!  With a full cup of water, I hung Ryan almost upside down, and practically drowned him, trying to flush out all the crap.  Because it may have actually been crap.  At a minimum, it was very foul puke.

As I'm doing this, the pot of boiling water on the stove overflows, and the kitchen fills with steam and gurgling, boiling water.  That was a sign that God was having a good laugh.

I got Ryan cleaned up, proceeded to cleaning the spot.  While I'm on hands and knees, fighting a now-perfectly-fine Ryan for the spot cleaner hose, I hear a thud and screaming behind me.  Sean hasn't quite master his mad jumping skillz, and scraped his back down the side of his solid wood step stool.  Gave himself a good four to five inch scrape.

(No, no pictures of the shit or baby torture.)

So my nerves were fried, and Isabella and Trey weren't even home yet.

And then they got home.

(TWO) Apparently, Isabella got a nice chip on her shoulder at school, and came home ready to pounce.  Not that we knew.  We also didn't know that Long Division would lead to a World War Three level outburst.  I've been learning that children, especially divorced children, want nothing more than to know that they are unconditionally loved, and they will test that knowledge at random.  So rather than engage an outburst, I now opt to just keep telling Isabella that I love her.  Last night was the first time I had the luxury of implementing said tactic, and let's just say, she didn't like it.  You name it, she said it, and I just kept quietly telling her, "But I love you."  I've never seen, felt or heard such rage.  Aunt Mandy had the privilege of being on the phone with Trey during the outburst.

However, the "I Love You" tactic is quite good, because while it was the most intense outburst, it was also quite short, and within 20 minutes, we were back out in the dining room, finishing that nasty long division problem.

I also started drinking a beer.

There was the usual folding loads of laundry well after bedtime.  Waking up at the crack of dawn this morning.  Cleaning up more urine from around the toilet.

Oh, and (THREE) I got to further hone my Baby Torture skills by waterboarding Ryan yet again!  This time, it was to flush the gushing blood from his mouth, after he fell down in the street on the way home from Isabella's bus stop.  Oh, and I spilled hot coffee on myself.

A very worn out Momma,

with coffee on the sleeve and blood on the shoulder.

Seriously, it's no longer considered a faux pas to drink before Noon, right?

Eleven Months

Dearest Ryan,

So, why, after so many months of nothing, would Momma take time out to write you a note?  Because I am stunned.  Stunned at you, at how big you are, and at the fact that your first birthday is staring me in the face.  Has it really gone this fast?

You know how to pose for a picture, you walk across the house - from your room to the kitchen - all by yourself, you're saying more words everyday, you're playing ball with Daddy, you're dancing when Momma starts to sing.

Just yesterday, you went through the kids' bag of Halloween Loot, found the blue sucker you wanted, pulled off the paper, and starting eating it.  All By Yourself.  I was too tickled to be remotely mad at you.  And you knew you were hot Sugar Honey Ice Tea.

You have a smile that just lights up the room - from the moment you started smiling all those months ago, it is your guaranteed spell to cast on your Momma.

You are Yin & Yang, you are Baby Taz, you are hysterically funny with a wicked sense of humor, you light up a room, you are my Big Lover, you are Momma's Piglet.

One month from today, my little one.  Your year will be celebrated, because everything about you is worth celebrating.  I love you so very much.

Love forever and always,

Momma

The (facial) hair makes the man

My man is sexy, that is undisputed. But he can freak me out by simply taking a razor to his face. One week last month, he decided to have fun with me, and sported different facial hair each day of the week.

The pictures for this post were taken mere weeks before Trey and I became privy to the knowledge that we apparently live in the shadow of the worlds largest mustache (that would be The Arch!), and that The Lou is also home to the American Mustache Institute. Who freakin' knew.

Trey in full beard.

Personally, I like him best with a face sweater.

And then one day...he walked out like this.

Gross. That was all I could say.

I asked where he left his mullet.

Ick. Handlebars.

I asked if he kept his Marlboro Reds rolled up in his sleeve.

Lester the Molester.

Just call him Rick.

Nice. The Hitler look is always fashionable.

And there he is, clean shaven.

Phew, so glad that experiment is over!

Never Pay Retail

Just an FYI, I've been following more and more discount blogs - blogs that tell you all about the deals and steals out there, so I've added a new feature on the right side of the blog - Never Pay Retail. It's a list of links to these sites - so enjoy!

Also, if I come across something great from my Playgroup or MOPS moms, or Facebook or Twitter peeps, I'll post it here as well.

Tarjay, how I love thee...

Here are some Target coupons for toys. Use them, love them, be them. Match them up with toy sales, and save even more dough. Yippee!

Folklife Festival

A couple weekends ago, we were in Hannibal to spend time with a visiting Mandy & Nick, as well as take in the Folklife Festival - Hannibal's version of St. Charles' Festival of the Little Hills: similar food, similar crafts, just not as huge. Folklife is also like a mini-reunion for all Hannibalians, with just about everyone in town making their way to Main Street, not to mentions those who travel from out of town. I did my best to remember everyone I was introduced to, but mostly I just savored the ability to eat my way down Main. Coffee, hot apple cider, hot cocoa, chicken noodle soup, cheese soup (The BEST!), kettle corn, hot dogs, not to mention the funnel cake that Mandy and Trey insisted on eating!

Isabella getting crafty in the kids area.

Ryan & Daddy making mommy something.

Sean: I'm having fun. Seriously, this is my "having fun" face.

Baby Addie, staying warm.

This kid knows how to have a good time, no matter what! =)

Also, Trey totally rocks the baby carriers. I Love Him.

The next day, we headed over to Poppa Latta's for some more eating, because we had not gained enough weight yet. But even better, it gave the cousins lots of time to play and interact. The boys are so in love with Baby Addie!

Cousins playing house! And Ryan eating Addie's Winnie.

Cheeseball

This kid rocks. Seriously.

Aunt Mandy and Cousin Addie

We headed outside (no rain! yay!) for some family photos - so fun trying to get everyone smiling/looking/not fussing!

The Lattas

The St. Legers

The girls

The boys

Mandy, Pam & Trey

Pam is yet another Latta cousin, one whom I've never met.

So great to meet more family!

Aunt Mandy with the babies! Love it!

Thanks Grammy and Poppa Latta & Nana Roxy for hosting us for the weekend! We had such a great time, and can't wait for Thanksgiving!